Originally published November 15, 2018 at No Longer Quivering. Written by Suzanne Titkemeyer.

This is one of the more toxic lies in Quiverfull, that your feelings are a lie. But it is one that the female cultural enforcers like Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies push the hardest. Why? Because if you can disassociate enough to deny your feelings you can be controlled.

They will tell you it’s because all negative feelings are from the devil, but even in the Bible people felt discouraged, downtrodden and negative, while navigating their way through those circumstances. Most of the Psalms start with King David bemoaning something and end with a different viewpoint. Remember Job? It wasn’t all rainbows and lollypops either! We are human and we’re liable to have fluctuating moods day by day and it is no sin. No matter what Nancy et al tend to say.

I think one of the big problems with Nancy and pals is how they define happiness. It’s not rational or normal to be gleefully grinning all the time like a lobotomy victim. There will always be times when we grieve or mourn, moments of great empathy with hurting others, times of contemplation, sadness, or acceptance of something not so wonderful, and a million other fleeting emotions.

Denying your negative emotions, stuffing them down, only leads to kicking them down the road to come out in exactly the wrong moment. Better to deal with your feelings in that moment, be real and honest with yourself and stay emotionally healthy than any amount of smiling denial.

Besides, if you reason like Matt Inman of The Oatmeal it might just be that you find Nancy’s type of fake happiness not your bag at all. I tend to agree with Matt on the subject of happiness.

I’d rather to interested and engaged than the type of happiness pushed in Evangelical Quiverfull.

How about you?